continued....

Today is a continuation from yesterday, entitled:

3 THINGS I WISH YOU WOULDN’T DO:

Feel sorry for us 
Its interesting how sometimes when you tell someone the news about your child's diagnosis, you hear the sounds awww, or I'm sorry....  It makes it sound like you feel sorry for us. Please don’t feel sorry for us.  We have a fantastic life with our two little guys. We love our life.  We cherish our sons.  Does our life look a little different?  Yes, of course.  We have some added challenges.  But, we wouldn’t have it any other way. 
Treat Lincoln differently
I often wonder if I sometimes treat Lincoln a little differently than Parker.  There are times I “cater to the Down syndrome” so to speak, and let Lincoln get away with attitudes and behaviors that I shouldn’t. I want Lincoln to know that he is held to the same standard as Parker.  To the same standard as his typical peers.  I want him to learn respect, to learn manners, to learn sharing, and to be polite.  He will have the same values, morals, beliefs, and attitudes I teach Parker.  I want him to know that there are consequences for his actions.  Though, the timeline for him learning those things may look a little different.  
Use the “r-word”
I know I’ve talked about this in a previous post... I used this word before I had Lincoln, I used it as part of my vocabulary.  At that point in my life, i couldn't imagine what the big deal was.  I never intentionally used it in a derogatory way, I never used it when I was talking about individual people, and I NEVER associated it with actual disabilities.  It was just one of those words that seemed to fit in certain situations (I have now replaced it with the word “ridiculous”).  After I had Lincoln I immediately stopped using it.  The word took on a whole new meaning for me.  It made me recognize the impact of the word as it took whole new meaning in my context.

Thanks for reading :)

try to connect

Before Lincoln was born, I had no connection to the world of disabilities.  Had I met someone on the street, in the store, or at church, I would have had no idea how to interact with them.  It is not that I was ever trying to be hurtful, I was just naive because the disability world had never been a part of my experience.  I am aware that many of you who read my blog may find yourselves in the same position. Lincoln may be the first person you have met with a disability, and sometimes you may find yourself wondering what to say, what not to say, or how to act/react.  For those of you who have ever felt this way, I give you this:

3 THINGS I WISH YOU WOULD DO:

Ask questions Asking questions is a great way to start a conversation.  I love talking about Lincoln, about Down syndrome, and about the journey that we are on. If you care to know something, ask! Asking questions is a great way to learn more, and to ultimately better understand and appreciate Lincoln and others who share an extra chromosome. 
Listen Listening goes hand-in-hand with asking questions, but sometimes it can go beyond that.  There are times in everyone’s life when we just need a listening ear.  Sometimes I just need someone to listen to me as I vent about some of the difficulties that come along with raising a child with Down Syndrome and parenting in general. Not looking for someone to solve everything for me, but just to listen as I try to work it out. 
Get to know Lincoln  Lincoln is an amazing little boy!  He has a very distinct, loveable, mischievous personality.  Interact with him.  Play with him.  Communicate with him.  Treat him with the same love and respect with which you would treat any other kiddo.  Do not let him get away with things you wouldn’t let your kids get away with!  You will be surprised at what you will learn.

I LOVE celebrating difference!

As you may know, Nov. 1-7 is National Down Syndrome Awareness Week.  Something I like to do, is blog frequently all week to raise awareness about Down Syndrome; to help open eyes and educate you that, despite an extra chromosome, individuals with Down Syndrome are the same as everyone else.  I find it is important to help raise awareness to people who don't have the privilege to know someone personally who has Down Syndrome.  That these children and adults have such potential, and are so special to everyone who knows them.  As I have stated before, "God is in the process of changing lives, and a sprinkling of people with Down Syndrome is one way he uses."  I am such a positive believer in this, , because they truely warm hearts, and bring out the best in people.  

I am totally overwhelmed with all of the responses and readers I had yesterday and today on my blog.  It really helps me feel that I am doing my part to help you realize that they are a blessing, a miracle, and a true gift from God.  They may have a learning disability, and look a little different than some of their friends, but they are a walking opportunity for people to be their best.  We realized that attitude is everything, and with the right attitude, anything is possible :)

Parenting is an eye opening, life changing, - worth every minute experience, and the same goes for raising a little one with a little extra :)

I love celebrating difference.

NATIONAL DOWN SYNDROME AWARENESS WEEK

Happy National Down Syndrome Awareness week!!  As per usual, I will try to blog every day, but seeing as I have covered most things in my previous blogs, I might just share an article here and there... as everything will seem repetitive.
Well, its been a while since i have last blogged... and ALOT has gone on since.  We completed a speech block with a group of other boys (as it seems boys are usually the ones who have speech delays...), and that lasted 2 months, once a week.  Lincoln was the oldest in the group, and the other two boys (who didn't have a learning disability) were almost 3 and 2.5.  Lincoln started off being the one who talked the most, but by the end, the other boys were doing really well.  Lincoln did really well too, he is starting to put sentences together, which is so cute. Parker seems to understand him really well, and if other people are around, Parker will translate what Lincoln wants if they cannot understand what he is saying, which is so tear jerking and sweet!  He's a great brother, and is doing such a good job at encouraging Lincoln to hit milestones Parker has already hit.  Parker is potty trained, and Lincoln has weeks where he is potty trained, and weeks where he refuses to go on the potty, so Parker's encouraging words to Lincoln about being able to wear cool boxers like daddy means you're a big boy... and Lincoln will usually go (with a bit of a fight) afterwards.  Its so tough!!  He refuses to communicate about potty training, and usually refuses to go - but i force his pants off, and as soon as he sits on the toilet, he will do a waterfall of pee.  Its tough because I don't know if I'm doing wrong forcing him.  If i DO wait, however, he will hold it until i sit him on the potty, and complain because it hurts when he goes because he has been holding it so long.  Its a long road - but we have confidence that there will be an end to this road at some point in time.  Hopefully sooner than later, though I cant complain about diapers because they are fully covered through Easter seals and ACSD - a disability funding program for children.
 We have met with our new Ear Nose, Throat specialist, and Lincoln will be getting tubes put in his ears again on Nov. 14, because there is fluid that has been sitting there for quite a while, causing mild hearing loss.  No ear infections though, so that's good.  Getting tubes will help to drain the fluid, and help his hearing, and hopefully his speech in the end.
   We meet with our occupational therapist about once every 3 weeks (just started), and we are currently working on self dressing, potty training, drinking out of a big boy cup and getting rid of his soother... (i know... hes almost 5 and still has a soother. tsk tsk tsk.)  I even wrote a book about saying bye bye susu... which the end has a garbage pail, where the soother goes.  I read the book once, and Parker threw his out right away, and never went back, Lincoln threw one out (he has a few)... but had dance parties on his bed - naked ones, til 2 am... in which i gave in and gave it back... we are still working on that.
   I have just pulled Lincoln out of daycare, and am searching for a new one, as my sister has resided from her position, and I didn't feel that they were taking things seriously with me, as in potty training, and drinking out of a big boy cup.  All the other kids drink without a lid, but Lincoln isn't there yet, and I had complaints that he was drinking out of the faucet in the bathroom at daycare (cause the kid was obviously thirsty)  So he will be done on Nov 11, and we will search for a new one.

   I was also asked to be a guest speaker for a ladies group at my parents church about a month ago.  I had about 4 months to prepare, which is good, because they wanted me to speak for half an hour!  It took alot of time preparing, and I was very nervous, but it was a great experience!  I had every ones full attention the whole time, and even brought tears to peoples eyes!  It was so nice to see so many people interested in hearing my story, and connecting with them one way or another. I think its great to get your story out there.  so that those who are not parents of children with special needs can become helpers to our cause, simply by educating themselves, or sharing an article about Down Syndrome, being empathetic, open minded, and open hearted to be able to see the person beyond the syndrome.
   Thanks for reading :)