Thankful for Down Syndrome.

Today and everyday I am thankful.  God has blessed me with so many special things in life that I would be crazy not to realize how lucky I am to have the life i live.   Sure no one dreams of having a child with down syndrome, but i honestly and happily can say that is a huge reason why I am who I am today.  



I am thankful for... good health.  Even if we spend more than the 'average' amount of time at the doctors.  It proves to show how far research has come.

I am thankful for... the journey we are on, and the details that sharpen our views in this world.  To share it and raise awareness.  To be a someone for someone else; to take the fear away from a new parent. To be a resource for others to get educated on what it's really like.

I am thankful for...  therapists: who work hard and celebrate all the progress Lincoln is making. They have all the tricks it takes to bring out the best in what Lincoln is capable of doing. And he never fails to impress.

I am thankful for... How much he is included. Lincoln fits right in where ever we go.  The fact that he never looks twice when he goes to school, and how welcomed he feels the second he walks out of the car.  






I am thankful for...  Lincolns fans.  He is here to prove that life can be awesome.  He is such a caring, warm hearted, always knows when you need a hug type of awesome.  We are so glad to have you in this with us - to learn it all with me.

I am thankful for... the opportunity I have been blessed with to be a stay at home mom.  I get to be a part of this whole journey.


I know it’s not Thanksgiving yet, but it’s always good to reflect on things you’re thankful for. 

brotherly love

I have two boys.  Two boys who I am equally proud of.  Two boys who have a love for life and each other. I do not view them as different, nor do I view them as the same.   Each of their lives are just as extraordinary as the other.  They are like two peas in a pod and  guaranteed partners in crime.  They play amazingly well together,  talk nicely to each other (usually), engage in each others activities, and can laugh like crazy for no apparent reason.  I'm not saying its all butterflies and rainbows with these two.  They also fight for attention, toys, who gets out of the bath first, who gets to wear what clothes,  and who gets control over the ipad.  BUT, that's normal brotherly living.  They share a special bond that I am so thankful for.  I realize that as the years go on, there will be questions to answer, but for now, I am going to sit back and enjoy watching how each one influences the other in a unique way.  They both play an important role in each others lives.  



*Parker is Lincolns voice on the play ground. 
*Lincoln is Parker's 'manners' reminder. 
*Parker makes sure Lincoln is ok with being a certain superhero when they are playing. (no brainer - tell him hes the hulk, and he'll happily play).  
*Lincoln finishes Parker's snack or dinner when they know they should finish their plates before leaving the table.  
*Parker makes sure that when something is wrong, if theres something he can do about it - he will do it.  
  
Parker has joined in on therapy sessions, and has continued to teach Lincoln many things outside of the therapy room!!  He makes sure his 'S' and 'F' sounds are pronounced properly and that he says his name as P-P-Parker - not Arter.  He continues to tell him how to properly ride a bike, that its important to look both ways before crossing the street, and its always the safest to hold hands in a parking lot.  Don't get me wrong.  They are also partners in crime remember?  They ARE brothers... They run up and down the aisles in the grocery store, say potty words at the dinner table, and tell secrets when they are supposed to be sleeping. They are each others first real relationship, and it will be the longest one they will have. Giving Lincoln a brother or sister is something we were sure would benefit him.  I don't know why the doctors spoke against it... 
Apparently theres a higher risk of having another baby with Down Syndrome if you've already been blessed with one, but that wasn't going to stop us.  Lincoln was a miracle, and if God chose to give us two... we would take it!!  As we all know, siblings are often motivated by each other and we now have two boys who love one another and accept each other for who they are and for the way God created them. 
A Disability is something that sooner or later will touch every body's life.  And I hope if there is someone out there grieving about the loss of their imagined perfect child,  they can find hope.  Because just like Parker, as far as Lincoln is concerned, HE IS ABSOLUTELY SURE HE IS LOVED, AND THAT HE IS AWESOME.  And he is :)

a little EXTRA

The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.  It may feel like that at times, but, in reality... Just because the other side of the fence has automatic sprinklers on a timer, doesn't mean the rain and an extra sprinkle of water here and there wont make my grass green.  What I'm trying to say is ... just because others can do things before Lincoln, doesn't mean we should limit what he CAN and CANT do.  Lincoln's potential is NOT less even though it may be different.  The thing about having a little extra chromosome is just that - a little extra.  We need to put in a little extra time and effort to get to where we want - it doesn't just happen with the flick of a switch, or the tick of a timer. As I think back to when Lincoln was a toddler, I am reminded on how things used to be.  He never crawled, he didn't 'do' finger food, he didn't talk, he didn't walk on his first birthday - or his second for that matter. 

But he did sit, and he used sign language, and he did smile, and giggle, and babble, and hug, and kiss, and love and laugh and make everyday awesome.  He had to do extra work to do to the things that just come naturally for others his age.  Things take time, effort, and positive attitudes.  But, with all the extra time, effort, and positivity - look where we are today!!  He walks and runs now, he loves food, he can say 3-6 word sentences, he can count to 10, write his name (with help), and make friends.  I'm overjoyed that God made him so lovable. 

That he doesn't have to work extra hard to make friends.  He has a way with people.  A magnetic personality.  Theres just something about him... I'll tell you he has 2 girlfriends - and one is in grade 5!!!  Everyday I drop him off to school, his 2 (yes... TWO) girlfriends wait for him, walk on the other side of the fence until the gate, and greet him with a hug and a smile.  They sit by the fence and wave to us as we drive by - leaving Lincoln for the day to learn.  Its comforting to know people care for him.  So I say "thank-you."  Thank you to all you who overlook the difference, and look at the similarities.  Lets celebrate the different characteristics of EVERY child. Because Lincoln is so much more alike than different.

he always worked SO hard

Dreams can come true.

Happy National Down Syndrome Awareness Month!  

April 18, 2009. 

The day our Down Syndrome journey began - though we had no idea.  The day Lincoln was born was the day that changed our lives.  Our first child was born.  We had new responsibilities, new rules, and a new way of doing things.  HE - CHANGED - EVERYTHING!   Lincoln was an easy baby.  He hardly cried, had lots of smiles, and knew his nights from days.  He drank and burped, soiled his diapers, snuggled and loved way beyond what I thought was possible.  He grew, and he hit milestones.  Life was good.  A vivid memory that always stands out when the struggles started - was the question  "who's eyes does he have".  I now know why this question was asked so often at our numerous clinic visits.  It wasn't until we were referred to a pediatrician that we would discover the miracle that God has intrusted us with.  God has a creative way of working in us.  When Lincolns blood work results came in and how everything happened so quickly. *A Down Syndrome diagnosis, *pneumonia that was present the next day, which lasted *5 nights at the hospital on oxygen, the discovery of the *holes in his heart resulting in pulmonary hypertension - to the day he had *heart surgery... (and this all happened in the time frame of one month - around Lincoln's first birthday). I often think about that time in our lives.  Whatever God's reason behind all of this - He did it right.

We don't see Lincoln as a syndrome.  We see him as a child.  He isn't sick, there isn't something wrong with him, and he does not suffer. He is our first born, and we love him just like you love your child.  Yes, he has Down Syndrome, but that is not who he is.  
I have a dream. A dream that you will see Lincoln as a boy first - instead of the syndrome. A dream that when you see him, your first instinct wont be pity for him or his family, but a smile - to share the joy in the gift we were given.  I have a dream that by sharing Lincolns story I can help you understand that a label can't define him. 
There is so much to celebrate about Lincoln - I decided to do a whole month of it instead of my regular November 1-7 (which by the way is Canada Down Syndrome Week)   Please celebrate with me.  Leave a comment on how Lincoln has touched your life, or share an article.  Lets help raise awareness.  Dreams can come true.
 

First Day Blues...

 I had a case of the First Day Blues....

The time had come. I thought I would be fine. I thought it would be just like dropping him off at daycare. I thought i was ready for this. I thought people would care for him the way I cared about him. Truth is - I wasn't ready. Truth is - people need to 'know' Lincoln before accepting him in a way I am comfortable with. Truth is - I felt alone, and feeling sorry for myself... and all i kept wondering was ... WHY? 

My day started off as usual. 7 am wake up, breakfast, packed a lunch, labeled everything of Lincoln's, double checked everything including bus pick up time and location. He had a bath, bushed his teeth and combed his hair. Then it was time. I brought Lincoln to the bus stop where he would get on the bus with a group of older kids. 2 other moms waited with their kids who were much older than Lincoln. One of the older children was asked by their mother to be Lincolns bus buddy on his first day - in which she rolled her eyes and did a gasp of annoyance - but agreed. While waiting for the bus, the other kids casually threw the "R" word around like it was part of their regular vocabulary. This.Hurt.Alot. Not only was I sending Lincoln on the bus for his first day at school EVER, but I was sending him on the bus with kids who threw his 'medical' term around like it was nothing. I was sending him on the bus with someone who didn't really want to be his bus buddy. BUT, he hopped on the bus, and didn't look back. I dashed home and jumped in my car... yes, I am one of those moms - I followed the bus....
watched Lincoln get off, and saw the special ed coordinator see Linc, take his hand and guide him out of my 'being a creeper in discuise' site. I assured myself he would be fine - to my knowledge, yes, he was being taken care of.... And then there were waterworks. My entire day was filled with emotions. But that's normal - right?? 

Trying to pass time... Parker and I met a friend, and went out for breakfast. We went to the grocery store. We did puzzles, played games, read books and did anything to keep both of us busy and off of each others nerves. tick tock . WAHOO its 3:10 !! I leave to go pick Lincoln up. He could have taken the bus home, but I need to build a good relationship with his teachers, and for my own peace of mind, need to know details of his day - which I was welcomed to do. I was a little late after being un successful finding parking, didn't have a chance to talk to his teacher, and ended up meeting Lincoln by his bus. He greets me with a huge smile. I pick him up, hug him and snuggle his face off... and I feel that his pants are wet, and he smells like pee.... 'insert water works here' ...again. Lincoln IS potty trained. He DOES know when he has to go to the toilet. But, he also DOES have the odd accident... so I take a breath, and let it slide. Busy day for the little guy. I can understand.  We get home, and he didn't stop blabbing - talking way too fast we couldn't understand what he was saying - now that... is obvious excitement!!! I un packed his backpack, take out the notes and lunch pail - only to find it is still full of all the food I packed him. We had been practicing eating sandwiches, and other packable lunch items like strawberries, goldfish, and pepperettes. All he ate was the pepperette. He didn't seem phased by it, but grabbed the goldfish out of it when we got home. Packing Lincolns lunch was something I had been pondering over for quite some time. Anyone who knows Linc, knows he doesn't just eat EVERYTHING. He doesn't do cookies or granola bars, he doesn't do raw veggies or apples, he doesn't like juice boxes and he is picky on the flavour of goldfish on a usual day. This worried me. BUT - I got over it. Hes a hefty kid... a little lack of lunch wont kill him. 

All in all, he seemed to have thoroughly enjoyed his day!! So - WHY was it so hard for me?? I couldn't talk to anybody about Lincolns first day without crying!! I was an emotional wreck. From the R word getting tossed around, to the annoyance of someone having to be Lincoln's bus buddy, to his wet pants and a full lunch pail. That was why. But then I realized,  with every struggle is a learning curve. I prayed all night, and God reassured me that I need to take a stand! I need to show the world WHO Lincoln is. I need to voice myself to others that using the "R" word is NOT ok. That just because Lincoln's communication skills are not clearly understood by everyone yet - doesn't mean he should be the target of other kids. He will get there.  I even contemplated homeschooling, but was reminded that Lincoln is too much of a 'people person' to take the daily interactions away from him.  And I get that.  He has strived so much already in his life - and it has hardly even begun.   People who have gotten to know him have changed, because of him.  Because he is who he is, and because people are accepting and loving and caring and mean well.

I have learned not to dwell on things.  It will only tear me apart in the long run.  I can't feel sorry for myself.  Lincoln needs me.  He needs me to be the strongest me I can be - and I'm working on that.  He needs me to communicate with his teachers because - I - (for now) am his voice.  This morning I dropped him off.  I talked to his teacher(s), explained he had an accident, and didn't eat his lunch.  Last night I got all upset about everything without putting myself into Lincolns shoes. Its a change... he wont jump right into what everyone else is doing until it becomes a routine.  He wont get up to go potty and he might not eat his lunch right away.  AND his teachers don't know him yet.  Give it time... breathe... and pray.  Let Lincoln show the world who he is.  Let him shine, and watch others fall in love with his loving and caring lifestyle.  Give him an extra hug everyday, and be glad that that is the end of my first day blues.

If there is anything I want you to take away from reading this - its to educate your own children.  Not everyone is the same.  Being different is AWESOME, and teach them to accept people that are different - for who they are....  And, that its not ok to use the R word.   If you haven't already removed it from your vocabulary, please do.  

Lincoln thanks you   :)

The lucky few

Ever wonder if maybe its you who is one chromosome too short?  That Lincoln doesn't have an extra, but you are missing one?  I thought about this for a while, but then shook my head. I don't count chromosomes, and I don't want you to either.  I just want you to look at Lincoln as one of the lucky few - the lucky few who can put a smile on just about anybody. People for the most part, are incredible.  The attention that we get when we are out and about is far more positive than negative.  Lincoln is an attention grabber.  And I wont complain about that. Even I'm still drawn to him - and hes my son(but that's not surprising). Before Lincoln i could go about doing my regular tasks without getting a smile out of people around.  Now, I can't go anywhere without getting a smile, or a comment on my children, or a mini conversation in the cracker aisle at the grocery store.  It brings me joy to know all we have to do is walk around, and people smile.  I use to wonder if people would notice - but now I'm glad they do.  We are the lucky few.  We get extra smiles - and i REALLY love that!! God knew exactly what he was doing.  I consider us 'the lucky few' to have received this blessing.  It has allowed me to see the world through a special eye glass, it gives me purpose, and shows me whats truly important in life.  Our hearts have been opened to a life that we couldn't have even dreamed of, and We are truly blessed.  

So, how is he doing... Lincoln is rocking along (but that's not surprising either).  He is really excited to start school in September.  We have gone to three 'welcome to JK' get togethers that the school held, and Lincoln doesn't want to leave.  He loves other kids!!  Always has!!  Just the other day, one of the little boys in his preschool class told me that "I think Lincoln is starting to like me" - meaning (I assume)- His talking is getting better!!  I know kids don't get it, but I think its cute how they want Lincoln to like them, even though he already does. His speech is moving along really well.  I know everything that he says - and he is now putting together 4-6 word (maybe even more) sentences. Even other people who haven't seen him in a while have commented on how well his speech is coming along. We are also working on how to use a flip book (with pictures) to aid him once he starts school in case others cant understand him.  His speech path had to bring in another speech path to 'brag' about how quickly Lincoln caught on.  Lincoln is also starting to catch on to the concept of letters and numbers.  He drew the letter "L" the other day and was so proud of himself!  I try to imagine what his life looks like.  How he can watch Parker draw certain letters of the alphabet on command, and how its taken Lincoln months to perfect the letter L - not only to write it, but to recognize it also.  I wonder what it must be like knowing that some of the things that come so easily for Parker, come not so easy for Lincoln.  But you know what?  He still does it with a smile on his face, He is determined to do it, and He doesn't give up.  The hard work he puts in to things that we take for granted is so inspiring. Which is why we applaud him EVERY DAY!!


I love how Lincoln inspires me.  How he inspires me to blog, and to brag, and love longer and hug harder.  Life is too short, so we have to make the most out of it.  Recently I was asked to write an article for a local Right to Life organization.  I guess my dad missed the time when I told him I was writing an article to be published... because when he received a copy in his church mail box and proceeded to read it, he flipped the page and was shocked -but- proud to see Lincoln.  I know (or hope) even those who don't know me, or my story were inspired by the article.  Every life is precious.  Yes, Down Syndrome is 'different', but it is because its 'different' that makes it so amazing! Life isn't supposed to be easy.  If it was, moments like these wouldn't be so perfect. Right??


Both boys are in preschool this morning, so I thought I would take the time to enjoy the silence, and the thoughts in my head, and blog. We are looking forward to summer.  School will be out for the summer in a couple weeks, and even though we don't have much planned, We are going to make the most of it. 

Thanks for reading!!  :D

Be Proud....

Today, I could post all things Lincoln.  That kid just strives to impress not only me, but everyone he meets - EVERYDAY!  

 

the battle of the proper pronunciation of the "P's" This happens EVERYDAY. P,F,D,L,M etc.

Pingu vs. Pirate

I'm going to back track a bit - We registered Lincoln for SK in Jan to a brand new school in town ... pretty exciting!!!  We then had a meeting with the learning coordinators, principle and vice principle of said school, with our speech therapist and occupational therapist present.  I can't even begin to tell you (as my eyes fill with tears) the words of encouragement, the patting on the back, and all the positive that came with that meeting. I know sometimes these meetings arnt positive to parents, because they can put focus towards the 'what your child can't do yet' ... Maybe its just me, maybe I just don't focus on that part of the meeting.  But maybe that's because I know he is doing everything that he can do to the best that he can do it ... at this time, in this moment.  Our therapists know Lincoln tries so hard.  My husband and I know Lincoln tries so hard... heck, even Parker knows Lincoln tries so hard. (We are in the middle of a speech block, and Parker takes his speech very seriously.) - (see video). I love how everyone works together.  God has given Lincoln to 'us' because 'us' is what is best for Lincoln.

Anyways, today Lincoln had visitors at nursery school.  The learning coordinators from his new school (in Sept.) came to observe him in a learning environment with peers.  Thankfully Lincoln had a great sleep - and was super excited to be wearing his new spider man shirt (in blue for autism awareness day), that he was in a good mood. (not that hes not usually in a good mood, but it certainly helps).  This was the first time the people from the new school had met Lincoln, and I could have hugged them in the end.  "Lincoln is not going to have a problem AT ALL" they said, "He is going to fit right in...  Hats off to you for doing such a great job raising him.  I wish we could package you up, and send you to other houses"   Now, don't get me wrong, I am totally not trying to brag here, but just hearing those words is so re assuring to me. I love how, even when I'm having a bad day,and nothing seems to be going right and I'm constantly praying for peace (or yelling at the top of my lungs...). or when I doubt my parenting; someone is there to remind me that I AM doing a great job. I need to realize that what I am doing in raising Lincoln, isn't the same as the average parent.  Not every parent gets to stay home... I do.  Not every parent has therapy appointments at least once a week, I do.  Not every parent goes through the struggles, the stares, and the happiest moments of success as I do.  And I should give myself more credit.

I don't mean to make this about me, I'm just trying to share a little bit of my thoughts and joys right now. I'm glad I have so many people interested in my life with down syndrome.  Because to me it means I am making a difference.  I don't view my life as different, because I don't know my life any other way, but others do.  And for that I want to thank you.  I want to thank you for reading my story, for taking the time to get a glimpse of my life, for not judging, and hopefully to enlighten you that Down Syndrome is beautiful!!