Wednesday, October 8, 2014

why i share...

Day 8 of 31 is upon us, and I'm not complaining (yet) because I have not been 'stuck' on what to write about. But as I was thinking about what to write about today, something came over me.  I have been so blessed by the positivity from my readers, that I figured I owed it to you, and to myself, to figure out WHY i share my story.  

I started this blog back in March of 2010 - the month we found out Lincoln has 3 copies of the 21st chromosome.  There was so much that went on in our lives that month that the easiest way to keep family and friends in touch - the most tearless way possible was to just write it down, and click share.  I was emotional, and that worked.  It took a while before I could say "Lincoln has Down Syndrome" without tearing up or getting a lump in my throat.  I don't know why, it just did.  

Blogging introduced me to the world.  It was a way to share the life I live and to create a view about the positive things that come with Down Syndrome.  It didn't matter how many readers I would have, I just wanted to open up my life to those on the outside. I have been beyond blessed by those who enjoy following us in our journey - so Thank You!!

My hopes in sharing our story was not only to share our joys and struggles, but to maybe change the views of a reader. I wanted to give you an insight. To share what goes on in our day to day lives. To have it out there for those who wanted to take the time to read it. To hope people would find some inspiration in my writing, and to  maybe even help someone find peace after a diagnosis.  To show them that they are not alone.

My purpose now, is to raise awareness, and to share what our life looks like.   It is to show you that Lincoln is just a person like the rest of us.  He has emotions and feelings, likes and dislikes, and that he has lots of people who love him.  

I continue to blog because people read it.  I have a passion for raising awareness and sharing our story, And I enjoy that passion!!     It educates me as I educate you. I write lines without knowing how it will end, and the thought that my words are making a difference brings me to a sense of accomplishment.

I share because I have a vision.  A vision of a future that has love and acceptance. I hope that by reading, I may be able to change your view too.





Tuesday, October 7, 2014

seeing the beauty within

It happens quite often that I catch myself blankly starring at Lincoln.   His beauty never fails to take my breath away.  The perfect way he sits, cross legged, the way he folds his hands, the way he chews his food, and blinks his beautiful eyes. The way he sips from an open cup, the way he runs, his sharing and caring nature, and his bright smile.  The way he hugs, knows when you need a hug, puckers his lips and never fails to say please or thank you.  I could go on and on, but i think you get the point.

I wonder how I got so lucky to be given such an amazing child.  He puts more smiles on my face and brings more joy to my heart than I could have ever imagined.  Please realize that raising a child with Down Syndrome is wonderful and amazing BECAUSE having children is wonderful and amazing.  It makes you realize that your love is not based on a child's ability, but on YOUR ability to accept and give.  Imagine what your life would look like if things didn't come as easily for you as they do for others.   What if things like sitting, walking, talking, jumping, and writing were what you desperately wanted to do, but you had to work extra hard to get there.  Would you give up?  Would you get discouraged?  Accomplishments like this are what make life more rewarding for us.  These simple things that come so naturally to the typically developing child are things that we celebrate!!  The beauty of it is in the small things.  Its the dance party that happens after the letter "L" is successfully written.

Its the celebration phone call to brag after a 5 word sentence is made.  It's the pizza party to celebrate a whole month of accident free potty training.  It's the frantic cheering that I am sure every neighbour can hear after self dressing in the morning.  Society needs to look up to those who give it a little extra, who work extra hard with extra determination.  Every single day I applaud Lincoln for his determination, hard work and abilities.  
He - inspires - me -  

Monday, October 6, 2014

the life of Lincoln

Last night as I laid in bed, I was trying to figure out what to blog about today.   I have 31 days of blogging this month, I thought... "How about a look at Lincolns life from the very start" ...   On our first anniversary, my husband and I found out we were expecting a baby.  Shocked, but excited at the same time, we were ready for this next step in our lives.  The pregnancy was an 'easy' one - if thats possible...   On April 17, my water broke. 2 weeks early.  I wasn't too sure what was going on, but I was pretty sure that it meant it was time.  I phoned my mom (who was in a movie theatre - she answered tsk tsk), and she said it was more than likely my water had broke.  I told my husband, and started timing the contractions.  Since we were 1 hour 15 mins drive from the delivery hospital, we decided it was time to get the show on the road.  25 hours later, we had our baby boy.  His vitals were good, he passed his hearing test, and he scored 9/10 on the APGAR scale.  We spent one night in the hospital and were sent home to begin our life as a family of 3.  Lincoln had troubles latching, and so we used a shield for a while.  After 3 weeks of gaining NO weight, I decided to pump, and feed him my super milk through a bottle.  He started slowly gaining weight, and we started going to the clinic once a week for a weigh in and check up.  Around 3 weeks old, he started refusing to drink.  He had a soother, and so I started "tricking" him into continuing sucking but actually drinking... and it worked!  He gained 2 lbs in 1 week, and 2 the week after.  I remember it was always such a task, and no one else could do it right.  I always mentioned the fact that Lincoln didn't EVER want to eat, and was always assured i was just not waiting for the right cues.  Not to dwell on this, but if something is not right, fight for it.  I didn't.  No one ever got it, but it worked for me, and so thats what we did.
 At around 7 months, i got tired of pumping and switched to formula, and he was enjoying it AWAKE!!  'freedom' set it.  But it was on to solids now.  He would eat, but vomit after - every time.  This was a concern (finally) for our nurse practitioner, and she set up a meeting with a paediatrician.  The second we walked into the appointment with the paediatrician,  she said she knew right away, but  did not tell me.  She assessed Lincoln, looked at his hands, looked at his neck, the bottom of his feet, asked if his mouth was always open and tongue protruding, and asked about his low set ears.  She mentioned that she wanted blood work done to look for 'chromosomal abnormalities'... then informed me that could mean anything from colour blindness to down syndrome.  I went home, so confused.  My baby doesn't have Down syndrome.  Theres NO WAY!  We did the blood work, and played the waiting game.  I started googling everything, confused as to why someone would mention Down Syndrome to me about my 9 month old baby!!  Yes, he has a simian crease, yes his pinky finger is curved, yes his mouth is open, yes his neck is short, yes his toes have a gap perfect for flip flops, no he doesn't crawl, but he sits, his ears are low, he's in the 4th percentile, and doesn't crawl.  The signs were there.  But I denied it.  I'll tell you, that 5 week waiting time for the blood work results was stressful.  Once we received the phone call to meet the paediatrician, we knew it was probably a Down Syndrome diagnosis.  We went, found out, also found out his heart had a murmur, left, cried, prayed, phoned family, got home, cried some more, hugged each other, but then became thankful.  Lincoln is Lincoln.  He didn't change.  He still did what he always did. Nothing changed, except we got a few answers to why he did the things he did.
The next day, Lincoln wasn't breathing right, and we took him to the hospital where X-rays confirmed he had pneumonia.  His oxygen levels were very low, and we took an ambulance to a bigger hospital.  While we spent the next 5 nights there, an echo (ultrasound of the heart) showed that he had some holes.  We were then referred to sick kids where we also found out he had 3 holes (ASD) and pulmonary hypertension, and that surgery should be preformed ASAP.  10 days after his first birthday he had heart surgery to plug the holes, and to resolve the pulmonary hypertension.  This changed a lot in the way Lincoln developed.  He started eating solids (in puree form) like a champ, he started moving more, and he looked healthier!  Every 6 months for the next 2 years, we spent at sick kids - having his heart evaluated to ensure that all was well.  And it was.  2 years after his surgery we were discharged from his cardiologist.  Since 11 months of age, Lincoln began therapy at least once a week.  We had speech therapy, occupational therapy, and physio therapy.  He loved speech, didn't need OT much, and absolutely dreaded physio therapy.  We worked hard to reach the milestones he has hit, and continue to do so.  Around Lincoln's 2nd birthday he started showing signs on sleep apnea.  We went back to sick kids to have his tonsils removed, and his adenoids taken out, and tubes placed in his ears.  We  spent 5 nights in the hospital (8 months pregnant with his brother) patiently (ha) waiting for him to eat or drink anything.  It was worse than his heart surgery.  Seemed to take for ever to get our boy back! But he recovered.  A month later, Lincolns brother was born... my new push to get him to hit new milestones.
 For 6 months I carried both kids everywhere.  It was time for Lincoln to start walking!!    By 2.5 Lincoln started walking - full time, and was then discharged from Physio Therapy.  He also started daycare - and loved it!  He started eating finger foods, and graduated from puree.  Just before his 4th birthday he started showing interest in potty training, and almost conquered it - until our family re located.  He lost his skill, but we continued to work for it.  When he was 4.5 he had a second set of tubes put into his ears - which are still in.  He continued daycare full time, continued speech and occupational therapy and started swimming on his own with water wings.  He is now 5.5, and fully potty trained.   He goes to school full time, in a regular class room without an EA. He can write his own name, say his own name and recognize it.  He is starting to talk more and more everyday, and continues to receive speech therapy.  I'm happy that after such a rough beginning, his life is more relaxed.  That he isn't always sick, that therapies are available, and that his brother is his push.  We are his encourager and cheerleaders.   I've never seen my life as a hard road to travel on.  Though it may be different than the one you're on, I am just like you.  A parent learning my way through this - one step at a time.

Sunday, October 5, 2014

adjusting perspectives


This month is for everyone out there who still has no clue about what Down Syndrome is. Its a chance to tell you that it isn’t something to be afraid of – that Lincoln is not sick, or stupid. He doesn't have a disease, disorder or defect. He isn't affected by it, or suffering from it. It doesn't require treatment or prevention. He isn't always happy - this makes him seem somehow less human. Truth is, he displays all types of moods, happy, silly, funny, angry, whiny, stubborn and yes he cries. Even though Lincoln has Down Syndrome, also doesn't mean that he is like someone else who happens to have Down Syndrome. Everyone is different, and unique in the way God intended them to be.
It would seem to me, that the children in Lincoln's class see him for him. They don’t know what Down Syndrome is nor do they know what a chromosome is. All they know is that Lincoln is fun and a good friend who just happens to be difficult to understand at times. Its important to enlighten your views on those who may appear to be different.
A huge bit of news can change you. But you won't always think about the 'diagnosis', nor will it be something that weighs heavily on you. It may leave you some what hopeless for what this new life has in store for you, but it won't take long before those thoughts are replaced with hope. These days I am amazed with how much hope I have. Hope for Lincoln's future, for his take on life, and his ability to do whatever he sets his mind to. He has provided me with a new perspective, a new way to love, and a deeper appreciation for the little things.

Saturday, October 4, 2014

Thankful for Down Syndrome.

Today and everyday I am thankful.  God has blessed me with so many special things in life that I would be crazy not to realize how lucky I am to have the life i live.   Sure no one dreams of having a child with down syndrome, but i honestly and happily can say that is a huge reason why I am who I am today.  



I am thankful for... good health.  Even if we spend more than the 'average' amount of time at the doctors.  It proves to show how far research has come.


I am thankful for... the journey we are on, and the details that sharpen our views in this world.  To share it and raise awareness.  To be a someone for someone else; to take the fear away from a new parent. To be a resource for others to get educated on what it's really like.




I am thankful for...  therapists: who work hard and celebrate all the progress Lincoln is making. They have all the tricks it takes to bring out the best in what Lincoln is capable of doing. And he never fails to impress.



I am thankful for... How much he is included. Lincoln fits right in where ever we go.  The fact that he never looks twice when he goes to school, and how welcomed he feels the second he walks out of the car.  






I am thankful for...  Lincolns fans.  He is here to prove that life can be awesome.  He is such a caring, warm hearted, always knows when you need a hug type of awesome.  We are so glad to have you in this with us - to learn it all with me.

I am thankful for... the opportunity I have been blessed with to be a stay at home mom.  I get to be a part of this whole journey.


I know it’s not Thanksgiving yet, but it’s always good to reflect on things you’re thankful for. 





Friday, October 3, 2014

brotherly love

I have two boys.  Two boys who I am equally proud of.  Two boys who have a love for life and each other. I do not view them as different, nor do I view them as the same.   Each of their lives are just as extraordinary as the other.  They are like two peas in a pod and  guaranteed partners in crime.  They play amazingly well together,  talk nicely to each other (usually), engage in each others activities, and can laugh like crazy for no apparent reason.  I'm not saying its all butterflies and rainbows with these two.  They also fight for attention, toys, who gets out of the bath first, who gets to wear what clothes,  and who gets control over the ipad.  BUT, that's normal brotherly living.  They share a special bond that I am so thankful for.  I realize that as the years go on, there will be questions to answer, but for now, I am going to sit back and enjoy watching how each one influences the other in a unique way.  They both play an important role in each others lives.  



*Parker is Lincolns voice on the play ground. 
*Lincoln is Parker's 'manners' reminder. 
*Parker makes sure Lincoln is ok with being a certain superhero when they are playing. (no brainer - tell him hes the hulk, and he'll happily play).  
*Lincoln finishes Parker's snack or dinner when they know they should finish their plates before leaving the table.  
*Parker makes sure that when something is wrong, if theres something he can do about it - he will do it.  
  
Parker has joined in on therapy sessions, and has continued to teach Lincoln many things outside of the therapy room!!  He makes sure his 'S' and 'F' sounds are pronounced properly and that he says his name as P-P-Parker - not Arter.  He continues to tell him how to properly ride a bike, that its important to look both ways before crossing the street, and its always the safest to hold hands in a parking lot.  Don't get me wrong.  They are also partners in crime remember?  They ARE brothers... They run up and down the aisles in the grocery store, say potty words at the dinner table, and tell secrets when they are supposed to be sleeping. They are each others first real relationship, and it will be the longest one they will have. Giving Lincoln a brother or sister is something we were sure would benefit him.  I don't know why the doctors spoke against it... 
Apparently theres a higher risk of having another baby with Down Syndrome if you've already been blessed with one, but that wasn't going to stop us.  Lincoln was a miracle, and if God chose to give us two... we would take it!!  As we all know, siblings are often motivated by each other and we now have two boys who love one another and accept each other for who they are and for the way God created them. 
A Disability is something that sooner or later will touch every body's life.  And I hope if there is someone out there grieving about the loss of their imagined perfect child,  they can find hope.  Because just like Parker, as far as Lincoln is concerned, HE IS ABSOLUTELY SURE HE IS LOVED, AND THAT HE IS AWESOME.  And he is :)







Thursday, October 2, 2014

a little EXTRA

The grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence.  It may feel like that at times, but, in reality... Just because the other side of the fence has automatic sprinklers on a timer, doesn't mean the rain and an extra sprinkle of water here and there wont make my grass green.  What I'm trying to say is ... just because others can do things before Lincoln, doesn't mean we should limit what he CAN and CANT do.  Lincoln's potential is NOT less even though it may be different.  The thing about having a little extra chromosome is just that - a little extra.  We need to put in a little extra time and effort to get to where we want - it doesn't just happen with the flick of a switch, or the tick of a timer. As I think back to when Lincoln was a toddler, I am reminded on how things used to be.  He never crawled, he didn't 'do' finger food, he didn't talk, he didn't walk on his first birthday - or his second for that matter. 

But he did sit, and he used sign language, and he did smile, and giggle, and babble, and hug, and kiss, and love and laugh and make everyday awesome.  He had to do extra work to do to the things that just come naturally for others his age.  Things take time, effort, and positive attitudes.  But, with all the extra time, effort, and positivity - look where we are today!!  He walks and runs now, he loves food, he can say 3-6 word sentences, he can count to 10, write his name (with help), and make friends.  I'm overjoyed that God made him so lovable. 
That he doesn't have to work extra hard to make friends.  He has a way with people.  A magnetic personality.  Theres just something about him... I'll tell you he has 2 girlfriends - and one is in grade 5!!!  Everyday I drop him off to school, his 2 (yes... TWO) girlfriends wait for him, walk on the other side of the fence until the gate, and greet him with a hug and a smile.  They sit by the fence and wave to us as we drive by - leaving Lincoln for the day to learn.  Its comforting to know people care for him.  So I say "thank-you."  Thank you to all you who overlook the difference, and look at the similarities.  Lets celebrate the different characteristics of EVERY child. Because Lincoln is so much more alike than different.
he always worked SO hard